After you begin addiction recovery, you will start to realize that you need to restore and repair healthy relationships that fell away during your addiction.
At this point, you may think, how is that even possible? But, you will learn that it is possible during rehab.
Life outside the recovery center
In the recovery center, you learned tools to help you reduce your risk of relapse; you also learned how to deal with your feelings and thoughts that led you to addiction. You also began a twelve-step program. Part of that program is to make amends.
Making amends is essential; it helps build your self-esteem. It also begins the repair of past relationships. There are certain steps you need to take when making amends.
Following the steps of making amends
First, you need to understand the steps and follow them. It starts with you being honest to yourself and those you have hurt in the past with your addiction.
The first thing to consider is this; will making amends with this person be more harmful to the person than making amends. It depends on how badly you have hurt them. It may have to wait for a while before you can make amends with that person, until a time when it will hurt them less than it does right now.
Once you have gotten that part, it is time to say sorry to the person. A heartfelt apology that acknowledges what you did wrong. Explain that you are in recovery and working to stay sober, and never to let what happened before happen again. You may need to explain the process and what you are going through so long as you do not make yourself a victim.
It requires you to listen as well as talking. Listen to the person as they explain how you hurt them, what that hurt did to them, and acknowledge and take responsibility for it.
After that, work on building trust; for example, if you missed important dates before, make sure you mark them on the calendar and do not miss them. If you are struggling with cravings at the time, explain that I am having a hard day with cravings and I am afraid if I come to your dinner party I may relapse because I do not want to hurt you again, I will come by early and spend time with you, but please forgive me for not staying.
You must be honest with yourself as well as those who you have hurt. Listen to them, and do not take it personally if they think you have relapsed. Assure them you are still sober.
If you or someone you know is searching for recovery, 449 Recovery can and will help you. We offer a continuously monitored detox program, cognitive behavioral therapy, smart therapy, and others. There is individual, group, and family therapy as well. Call us today (855) 435-7449 to learn more about 449 Recovery.